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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The Cast




I have discovered the characters I write about tend to live in me more vividly, than had I not written about them. They hang around longer, then pop back into my head. This morning it is like a damn party up there. So I thought we all might revisit them and drag you with me.

Those with sense:

I still pulling for both the Sox and the Cubs, but I send the most mojo to Allison who is running the Lake Placid Ironman the last week of July. My prayers go to Nancy Reagan and the young girl who go caught up in the Pledge of alegeance mess. I hope they get they the love they deserve. I want the 900 pound guy cared for and I also am pulling for Jack Ryan who deserved better.

On a lighter note, I wonder if Moxie found the 'breeder" she desires. I want someone to find a hot little number for Jabari , and someone needs to keep me up to date about Moe's widow . The woman has been spoiled. I need to call my friend who has just finished Hypnothery classes. I have ".offered to be he naked guinea pig Lastly, I wonder if my dad hooked up with Bappy yet.

Those I am hoping the light finally goes on for:

I wonder if the NBA will ever return to it's roots as a sport. Do you think Soso Whaley will eat for a month at Crispy Creams, or lady at the cubs game will figure out how to open the peanuts faster with her pudgy fingers. Has anyone sentJohn Kerry the Deadwood DVD or asked how people were sleeping with the boiling oil woman back in their neighborhood. Is Rush Limbaugh really cured or has anyone cuddled with those titanium tits. When is the next"summit"? And lastly, has anyone meta normal clown yet?

Those who have helped:

Most importantly: I want to say thank you for all those who have helped us get Seven Inches up and rolling.....

Brando
 Posted by Hello

Monday, June 28, 2004

Mr Brando

this is an audio post - click to play


Swearengen Sense




I love the show Deadwood on HBO . With its unflinching realism producer David Milch tells the story of the development of politics. The show stands in stark contrast to the current politicians and pundits we have today.

"...... DEADWOOD is an intense, character-driven drama that takes elements of the traditional western and turns them upside down. "I had always wanted to do a series set in some period where it was legitimate to explore the genesis of law," Milch says. "What interested me about Deadwood is that it was an outlaw settlement, on Indian territory, so the American law didn't apply ? there were no laws at all."

Machiavellian saloon owner Al Swearengen, is the most powerful man in town ."He controls the most successful bar and whorehouse in all of Deadwood ? bringing in $5,000 a day in 1876 ? and anybody that threatens his sources of income will find themselves 'fed to the pigs"

My thought was to slide Al Swearingen in as the president and examine how he might respond to challenger John Kerry. I have quoted Al directly as I have Kerry, to give you a clear idea how it might go. I think you will find him "refreshing"

"You know why he should answer that question? Because I answered the questions," said Kerry
"Here's my counter-offer to your counter-offer: go f**k yourself."
--Al Swearengen

"I'm proud of our service. I said that in the days after I came back from Vietnam, even though things were happening in larger policy that I thought were wrong, and I talked about them."
--Kerry
"I want to know who cut the cheese."
--Al Swearengen

"George Bush has had four years to come here, sit down with the mayors, work with these issues,? he said. ?He just ignores them, gives a big tax cut to the wealthiest people, and people are hurting more and more. -- Kerry
"I wouldn't trust a man who wouldn't try to steal a little."
--Al Swearengen

"I think it comes down to this larger ideological, neocon concept of fundamental change in the region,? Kerry

"Don't play that sh*t where you make me drag your words out. Declare, or shut the f*ck up."
--Swearengen

On Kerry's hair.......
"Get a f*cking haircut. Looks like your mother f*cked a monkey."
--Swearengen

"The scriptures say, what does it profit, my brother, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?" Kerry said. "When we look at what is happening in America today, where are the works of compassion?"

"I ain't pissed off. I'm in f*cking wonderment. I'm waiting to be kept happy by another f*cking fairytale.?
--Swearengen

John Kerry ....... will give every American access to the health care plan that the President and Members of Congress already have
"Announcing your plans is a good way to hear god laugh."
-Al Swearengen

As you have figured out I like Al....a lot!

Brando


Even Al is speechless at times........This is remarkable Here comes the judge
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Sunday, June 27, 2004

You get to Choose



When things get a little to "wooie" for me, I go out for a steak and a couple beers.

I don't go to conferences, conventions, seminars, or summits. Occasionally I review my personal policy. After imaging what it must have been like at the "Time ABC Summit on Obesity": the policy stays in place, and in concrete. Fortunately Radley Balko went and most of what is quoted comes from him.I encourage you to read,: The Agitator. ..I personally "conference" at Wrigley Field.

Regarding the conference, here is what you need to know:

"Bottom line, whether you're fit or not, how much you weigh does count."
-Dr. Timothy Johnson, ABC News, Boston,"

"We don't need a 'grease police.' You have to realize that when you ban things, Americans get angry, and they're going to rebel and consume them like never before."
--Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

Now go out and find something active and fun to do, and don't eat a lot of shit.
-Brando

Now just in case you need a bit more. I will give you some items from the organizers and make it clear why spending any time there would have made me crazy.

"Personal responsibility is a trap."
--Nestle and Brownell, in the TIME magazine special issue put out in advance of the conference
.

(Wow......scary Wow)

"I think it would be a huge mistake if we failed to learn the lessons of the tobacco industry. And one of those mistakes is too much focus on 'personal responsibility.'"
--Yale University professor and nutrition activist Kelly Brownell.

(What would be the alternative?)

"The first couple of times I watched [Fox's TV reality series] The Swan, I was appalled that I didn't see any women of color on that show. The whole issue of weight loss to me is the inherent racism."
--Washington Post medical and health writer Sally Squires

(Did I see her at the Bank One protest in Chicago )

"Paul, we may disagree entirely with your point of view. But we respect your right to express it."
-TIME sciences editor Philip Elmer-Dewitt

(People who talk like this want me to toss up my tofu)

"She's right you know. Food shouldn't be fun for kids. Food is fuel. If kids want to have fun, they should play football."
-Unidentified.

(I would hide to)

If you haven't heard enough maybe you would have stayed for lunch.
"On the conference's second day, we were served what was billed as "The New School Lunch," a collection of sprouts, twigs, and sauces that looked more like the lunch menu at Nordstrom's than anything I've ever seen in a school cafeteria.(Roasted Turkey and Buckwheat Pasta Salad with Fresh Peas and Spring-Dug Parsnip )"

My take on all this is we need to address what we eat and take a stand against the marketing muscle . Personal responsibility is not a trap. The idea is to be self aware and make good choices, our own choices.

And just when you thought this was crazy enough. Here is the final statement made in the Time article : Time article about their "summit". ( Yalta was a summit, this was a damn conference)

(regarding the press's role)
"Perhaps if we stop playing up the dietary confusion message and emphasize what works in fighting obesity, more folks will get mad, understand what's at stake, and demand the kind of programs and changes we've heard about at this conference. Then we can finally reach and pass the ?tipping point? on obesity"

Maybe, if you restricted what advertising you took in and stopped taking money for 'Twinkles' ads you would have some credibility. How much money does ABC and Time take in from high fat, high sugar food producers...??

I find the hypocrisy remarkable, but then again if personal response ability is a trap, maybe it makes sense somehow........aghhhhhhhhh

Brando
Related
Related
 Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Damn Bappy




This will be a tricky couple of weekends for me , the White Sox play the Cubs , three down there this weekend, three up here next. Both teams are in the hunt for their division titles. Most well balanced Chicagoans have one team, and their feeling for the other runs somewhere from disinterest to disdain. I however, am the John Kerry of Chicago baseball fans, a straddler. I like and follow both teams and follow them daily. This is no small commitment. but manageable except on these two weekends. Then my harmless little paradox grows fangs, and becomes a hypocrisy I need to wrestle with.

I have lived on the North side, the Cub side of Chicago, since I was six. This should be your basic slam dunk, be a Cubs fan. The problem lies in that we moved up here from the South side where my father was born and raised. Yes,my father was a Sox fan, for him the Cubs were not even a real team.

I have been hoping on the EL with my friends to see the Cubs since I was eleven. We cut lawns in the morning and blew the cash at the game in the afternoon. Back then the Cubs played only day games. My nights were reserved for trips with my dad to the south side to see the Sox. Between reading about baseball ,collecting baseball cards, playing ball in a vacant lot behind my house, and my day night double headers, I was immersed in baseball; Brainwashed basically.

Still I would have resolved this I am sure except for one man, the legendary Bappy Fagen. Legendary, because people came to life when my father told stories. Bappy was a personal hero of my dads. You see, my dad and Bappy tried out for the White Sox together.

The brief version (which does no justice to the grandeur of all this), was they went down south someplace to tryout and dad got cut, but Bappy made a minor league team. Dad came back and worked in a drugstore. About a month later in walks Bappy. It seems Bappy got home sick and missed the old neighbohood....Damn, if I am still not wondering about Bappy! Could he have made it?

So here I am. Do I own an SUV or Don't I? Did I vote for the war or didn't I? A perfectly intelligent man waffling, straddling, acting like a Cubs fan, haunted by my deceased father, and damn Bappy.

Okay Okay,.it's resolved

Sox...Go kick some serious Cub Ass !!!!

The Baseball Crank

Brando( the sox fan)
 Posted by Hello

Friday, June 25, 2004

Thug Ball



I promise this will be the last I talk about the NBA. The dreadful season is over . Whether these guys embarass themselves at the Olympics remains to be seen.

Larry Bird thinks NBA needs more white players Sorry Larry, it is way beyond that.....

Just Ball Reports

"The NBA is rapidly turning into a national criminals' association: A whopping 40 percent of NBA players have police records, a bombshell new book charges. That and this report from The The New York Daily News' Dareh Gregorian

Jeff Benedict, "Out of Bounds: Inside the NBA's Culture of Rape, Violence & Crime"


A" bombshell" new book ? Are we just waking up?

Lets take a guess at a few other NBA stats:

Percentage of college grads: I'd say 20% tops

Percent of players untradeable: At least 30%(because the don't play up to performance expectations)

Percentage of stars "demanding to be traded " Seems we hear about this a few times a week, Vince Carter being the latest.

Percentage of players declining Olympic invites: Roughly half.

League's "next Jordan : On trial for rape

Number of illegitimate children: I beleive Calvin Murphy
is league MVP in this area with 14 kids with 9 woman. Ther are 350 players my best guess 400 to 500.

Chauffeur Murdered : "Just"one

I think the understatement regarding all this belongs to Charles Barkley "I am not your role model" Lets make Charles the league Rep. The league is a cesspool and God forbid anyone really speaks up. Then they get to be racists........

BTW, These guys average about 5 million a year, the stars way more, with the quality of effort and play questionable.Questionable, I am being kind.

When you buy a ticket, you support this...

Say no to the NBA Go Local

http:// URL


 Posted by Hello


A film with Heart




I woke early this morning to watch Michelle Malkin on Fox and Friends . She very rightly was pointing out that Hollywood has been excessively negative about America. She advocated for more patriotic films, like those made by Jimmy Stewart and Gary Cooper . My sense she is on to something, much as Mel Gibbson was with The Passion of the Christ .

You see it is unimportant which spirtual/religous neighborhood one lives in ,or the side of the political fence you are on . It is about ones passions and standing up for them. Without shame or shameing others.

Ironically, it because we live in America, that there will be a bold filmmaker, like Gibson willing to take risk for his passions. This persons passion will be his country. He will be a Robin Hood like figure with a band of followers feared by those in power. They will make a great film, and sequel makers will once again be exposed as cowardly and self serving.

All I ask for in sharing these prophecies is that Michelle and be given small roles in this film. I am thinking about a small romantic scene where I rescue her from the grasp of a ex vice president gone completely mad
...
"Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use."
Carlos Castenada

Brando
 Posted by Hello

Thursday, June 24, 2004

The Chauffeur



Almost everyone calls my car "The Couch." It is a 1999 Lincoln town car, butterscotch with a brown cloth cover roof. Maybe a touch" pip daddy "for most people's taste, but I have grown to love it. You see, the couch was my fathers car.

My father passed away last summer. A month or so later, when we were sorting out his possessions my mother remarked "we have to sell that thing." I took the keys, smiled, and made his car mine. At first it was a bit odd driving it. You see the couch floats rather than rides. It is no BMW. This is a good thing, because the magic is in the floating.

The couch at times transforms me. I slip into a trance, aware of external world and aware of the trance I am in. It's an in between place, not spacey, quite grounded actually. Here, in this state, in this car, I am never alone. I am my father's chauffeur.

I loved my father deeply, but I didn't always listen very well, and was often dismissive. Fortunately he also loved me and has remarkable patience. Patient enough to wait for me. For most others, he has passed on in an ordinary way. For me that is just not so. He lives most the time in my driveway, waiting patiently, for our ride together.

He is calling, time to get the keys.

Brando
 Posted by Hello

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Indeed no sense




"Banking While Black
A bank branch on the high-crime south side of Chicago is accused of being racist because it requires customers to go through a metal detector on their way into the building, reports ABC7 .ABC news"

Indeed I am ..Tongue Tied

"WORCESTER,Mass -
A Worcester woman who caused second- and third-degree burns over 22 percent of her estranged husband's body when she poured hot cooking oil over him was sentenced to five years of probation, and ordered to continue mental health counseling. "

Indeed ,she is likely a sweet lady. The neighbors much be thrilled she is home.Why do they have prisons anyway?

From the Washington Times


DUSSELDORF, Germany, June 21 (UPI) -- An Argentinean doctor who offers titanium implants for women seeking larger breasts says his clients never need to wear brassieres after his surgery.

Indeed, they must be eye catching, myself I prefer tits to torpedoes......

By Kristina Jergensen , The North Platte Telegraph 06/22/2004

Cowboy poet" Michael Martin Murphey, winner of this year's Buffalo Bill Award, was sharply critical Saturday night of the off-color humor of clowns at the Buffalo Bill Rodeo.

Indeed, he was lucky he wasn't in Molinewhere is was more than just talk....I steer clear of all clowns, they are just to weird for me. .............If however the clown thing is for you,here you go, but you are on your own....

Newsday:Buffalo wing turns 40

"Invented at Buffalo's Anchor Bar in 1964, the wing has its own festival each Labor Day weekend. ........Sonya Thomas, the 100-pound competitive eater downed 134 wings in 12 minutes at last year's Buffalo Wing Festival. "

As you can easily see Sonya proves wings are not fattening and indeed for all practical purposes are a health food...That's a good thing because, I rarely watch the "da bears" without a tray of them...

From US press news

"Summer's Hot New Look for the Sophisticated Career Woman: McDonald's Happy Meal Gizmo "

"Originally, the Stepometer? was a transparent and, at first glance, lame attempt to deflect scrutiny from our" Extra-Value-and-Arterial-Obstruction Meals, says McDonald's spokesperson Commissioner McBacon, a guy that makes Ronald McDonald look like an Apprentice contestant. "I mean, counting how many steps our customers walk is like counting tie-dye T-shirts in Iraq: people are still going to blow up."

Okay so, indeed this not true.......

This is, however .....Supersize your waist
And so is this.........A whale of a name

And lastly because something has to make sense.......MOE has agreed> to serve as Honorary Chairman of my : "Lay pipe for America" campaign Yes indeed!!
 Posted by Hello

Brando

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Red , White and ,Screw till you are Blue




Earlier this year the leading democratic senatorial candidate here in Illinois saw his fortunes drop suddenly. A very public bitter dispute with his ex wife did him in, after spending twenty-nine million dollars of his own money on the race. Today the ax just fell on the Republican side. A judge released some very messy divorce papers of Jack Ryan"s . Apparently Jack's desire for the public eye isn't reserved for only politics. More than you need to know


We have all the usual false outrage and denials as everyone is bailing the sinking ten million dollar ship wreck. One would think after we crippled the federal government for two years over a simple oval office blow job, we might stop the hypocrisy. I am not advocating following the example of the Catholic church, covering up child sexual abuse. A couple adults acting out sexually a bit,is simply that. Why not leave it private? Are we all that needy to see the other person suffer and fall? Can we not contain our inner voyeur? We all have out dark sides, all of us. Dark and criminal are quite different.

It's my view the Catholic church radically diminishes it leadership base by retaining it's celibacy rules for priest and nuns. There numbers are way down and daily we hear more trouble about those clerics who remain. Now we do the same with our federal goverment, unnecessarily restricting our leaders. We ask our best people to open themselves and their familles to undo scrutiny and most choose other fields. Little wonder we are still looking for the next Jefferson, Lincoln or Washington.

We have been fortunate to have three excellent candidates for senate here in Illinois ,so after this bloodbayh all is not lost..It's two down one to go, with our current leader looking carefully over his shoulder.

Here's my thought. Lets all get our partners and let it rip all weekend long, every orifice, every position. Maybe even a double dose of Viagra and some of the good Vancouver weed . The next week talk about it over the fence or watercooler.Then after taking notes, saddle up the next weekend. Seems to me who is doing what to whom would be way less interesting after a month of this. My lay pipe for America plan,,,,,,

And.......If it doesn't work is there a downside?

Brando( for President)
 Posted by Hello

Monday, June 21, 2004

Korea Smoldering




Politically, some of my more intellectual friends know more than I. However, there are some things in the recent news (and outside of the news) that are bothering me. It seems that everyone has suddenly stopped paying attention to North Korea. I believe, ignoring the dangerous changes going on right now is a SERIOUS mistake

First of all, in October 2004, many of US troops stationed in South Korea will be withdrawn, and the bases turned over to the nationals. For example, Camp Bonifas, the northern most post, will be downsized to a handful of US soldiers, replaced with ROKs. The conscripted ROK soldiers are simply as not as experienced as the enlisted US soldiers. With the change, scheduled in October, this dismantling is all within full view of the North Koreans.

Secondly, South Korea has decided to send another 3,000 troops to Iraq. But the Korean 386ers (3=are in their thirties, 8=grew up in the 80's, and 6=born in the 60's) are a huge percentage of the population. They are extremely unhappy, especially in light of the recent a South Korean hostage who's images of pleading for his life are all over the news. They were already unhappy with the Americans being stationed in THEIR country. The older generation remembers the war and understands why the Americans are there. The younger people want to find a way to unify with the North. They have only memories of the current prosperity. The divisiveness runs deep.

I digress, Is this really a good time to be sending troops to the political minefield that is.Iraq, merely to curry favor with the US government. The Koreans will experience large financial losses with the withdrawal of US troops (those boys put a lot of their hard earned money into the Korean economy).It seems to me that dividing your country at such a crucial time is inviting trouble, even more so with the hostage situation.

The impoverished North Koreans realize all this. Kim Jong Il is demanding that all north. Korean children refer to Americans as imperialists or fascists, or even worse...the American Nazis. The fire just keeps getting hotter. The South is fueling these flames, and then giving them an open door. The North Koreans have roughly a million full-time Army, and seven million reservists along with their nuclear weapons, COMBUSTION is only a matter of time, and that scares me, really scares me.

It actually wouldn't surprise me at all if he has found a way to join forces with al Quaida and becomes involved in this war too. Has anyone checked North Korea for Osama bin Laden?

--Joan
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The Real Joke




The Chicago Suntimes ".
GIANGRECO gets benched for joking about Detroit"

"Commenting on the Pistons' victory, Mark Giangreco showed an old black-and-white movie clip of a city being burned to the ground and joked that it was "just another typical night for Detroit." He followed that immediately by saying that he was "just kidding."

"It's a joke, these people take themselves way to seriously." I bet I have heard Mark say that twenty times.....
For those of you not from Chicago , Mark Giangreco . has been the runaway most popular sportscaster here for over twenty years. No one is even close, the Richard M. Daley .of the sports guys. Like our mayor, he is one of those guys who gets it that he has found his spot. Why be a national figure when you can be here in Chicago with your family.

No one can be surprised Mark's mouth got in trouble last week, but lets not confuse the guy with Howard Stern . He is not a hostile guy abrasive guy. He is a wonderful man with a great sense of humor. He sees the world in and upside down sort of way. I don't think he even likes sports that much.

Our kids played hockey together. We hung out at the rink several days a week. He had three boys playing, I had two boys and two girls playing. The guy clearly has his own way. When his kids began to skate, I don't think it even occurred to him not to learn how to himself. He signed up for private lessons several mornings a week. Later he would rent the rink out once or twice a year and invite any dad to his self styled "rat hockey." For weekend games you could count on a cold six-pack concealed in his "gym bag." Let's just say the guy is fun and knows how to hang out.

Clearly there is way more going. His kids are wonderful young men. and top flight hockey players. His oldest lead the local high school to several state championships, before he want off to Harvard. Mark has a serious side and more importantly he is filled with passions.

When we first met he had a Sunday night show during football season, featuring Steve "Mongo " McMichael. and a couple other Bear teammates he had been drinking that night. Clearly one of those to good to last things. Now we have this mess over a joke about Detroit.

Luther Keith is senior editor of The Detroit News .
has made himself the self appointed head of the humor police. "There's no way to joke-proof Detroit. But hopefully, at some point, .... others will realize this: Its not funny." Seems to me TOUNGE TIED. makes more sense." Since when did it become verboten to make fun of Detroit?

The Chicago Suntimes . " Viewers....thought the joke has 'racial overtones? and he was forced to apologize." They mean they made Mark grovel. Clearly this is not the place for him to make a stand and put his job at risk. However, that aside, I would have liked him to tell those thin skinned, self importanting hypocrites to "kiss his ass." Then maybe , and this is a long shot , they might see who the real joke is.......

Brando
 Posted by Hello

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Our World


I have the most wonderful friend and lover. Neither of us have much contact with the other people in our lives, although we know all about them. Neither of us is anti social, and I suspect most would think we are a very attractive couple. It is just that our world together is ours, and only ours.

We do things together and talk about doing lots of other things. Most of that is talk. Our basic routine is walking to a local Thai restaurant, stopping to pick up a six pack of beer along the way. Going in that small restaurant with someone else, would be unthinkable. I would be overcome with loneliness.

Afterwards we go back her place. There her jealous male cats assert themselves as lords of the realm for about twenty minutes, eventually giving me their blessing. I see it all as a ritual, needed to contain the wildness of our relationship. She is just completing her graduate work in psychology. That shoe fits her well, your basic natural.

The key to the evening usually lies at the liquor store. There, they have a huge selection of beer. We both approach the cooler telling each other we don't care which brand we buy, one of the very few lies we allow with each other. We do it every time, then proceed to posture ourselves, knowing we are setting the tone for the night. Last night she picked Miller lite, a good sign, glad she didn't insist on Dixie's Blackened Voodoo.

The beer choice was correct, dinner was wonderful, and the cats gave me my pass. Our world, almost always includes our sex, which to us is out of the this world. Last night there was a bit of a twist, however. She wanted to give me an ink blot test. It's a psychology test where on reveals one self through their impressions of various ink blots. She handed me cards fully clothed. I undressed my psyche. I must have done all right, afterward she fell asleep in my arms for a half hour. It was all so personal, tender, and damn sexy.

When I left it was quite cold ,and I remembered I left my bird outside. Fortunately my youngest daughter had thought to cover her cage with blankets and we carried it in together when I got home. Luna our bird is a beautiful female Eclectus parrot, red with blue highlights.
I have not taken good care of her, not cruel, more not paying attention. This morning I have committed to change that. Let her out of her cage more, keep her warm, be more tender with her, listen, and be more empathic........

Imagine that.......

Brando

Eclectus Parrot
 Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 19, 2004

A Whale of a Name


I am just NOT that clever to make this stuff up.

Just when I thought no one was more aptly named than the urine drinking wildman Joe Don Looney .Along comes MS Soso Whaley , of the Competitive Enterprise Institute">.to take on Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me.fame. Soso of the Competive Insitute whaleing out at McDonalds. Remarkable.....

"Soso R. Whaley is an adjunct fellow with the Competitive Enterprise Institute...... Ms. Whaley has devoted her life to teaching people of all ages about the necessity of developing a more educated and symbiotic ( the living together in more or less intimate association or close union of two dissimilar organisms ) relationship with animals"


Soso has taken issue with Morgan Spurlock with his Super Size Me.
film and has taken on to "challenge" him with an eat off at McDonalds.That's right Soso from the Competitive Institute MS Whaley feasting exclusively at the golden arches for a month not once, but she did it twice.

"My real purpose is not to prove something, rather, I see this as a unique opportunity to explore food and weight issues and separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to what is reported about our health and well being in the media and other sources"

Does anyone believe people who talk like this??

My guess is Soso has a few issues, and just isn't that much fun. Thinking about MS Whaley in a bikini on day fifty-nine would cause anyone to toss your Big Mac right back up.

Competitive Enterprise Institute, somehow I am just not all that impressed. Competitors don't go for a damn tie. If MS Whaley was a real player she would eat nothing but Dunkin Donuts for a month and drop Morgan Spurlock to his knees.

Now if we are talking about real competition lets go this way.

We get a set of twins, a somewhat pudgy Olsen twins wannabes. One does the Spurlock routine and shops all day, resting only for an occasional soap opera The other is fed by Morgan's vegan chef girlfriend for the whole month .She goes to a high level health club, reads Gandhi and Shakespeare and goes to the theater at night. Lets call them the reverse swan and the swan
....

After thirty days we will judge which one has a more symbiotic relationship with life...The winner goes to Paris with the man of her choice. The loser gets to go to fat camp fat camp with some overweight woman in their 50's.

As for Soso.......lets get just get the girl laid. I am thinking a romp with Moe if he would do it..Moe

 Posted by Hello


Seven Inches of Gorilla


Mae and Joan's day at the Zoo...Gorilla's baited by sensational yoga asses.

We have long known you may not want to take them camping (Bears and menstruating women) but the zoo may also may be problematic also.

Gorilla's Leap May Lead to Zoo Redesigns

".. no one expected a stocky, knuckle-dragging 340-pound gorilla to leap across a 12-foot-wide moat and a wall that separated him from visitors at the Dallas Zoo.......Some experts speculate Jabari may have been doing a "display run," a showy charge that younger males perform for females "I think we probably have underestimated the ability of these animals,"

The gorilla's flying leap has astounded primate experts and is leading some to rethink the design of the gorilla exhibits at the nation's zoos. "


For more on gorillas Try Here

For less on gorillas Try here
 Posted by Hello

Friday, June 18, 2004

Supersize Your Waist



I love this movie.......!!!
Super Size Me

I enjoy things that stir a mix of emotions in me. Don't just drowned me in sadness or scare me out of my seat . With all do respect to Moe, please don't make it to silly. I want it all.....The theme of this movie is scary and the film itself makes me sad,and angry. All while, being wildly funny.

"In 1972, we spent 3 billion a year on fast food -- today we spend more than 110 billion."
This is not only a story about obesity. It is a story about marketing muscle.Remarkably,"French fries are the most eaten vegetable in America". I don't recall many ads for peaches or tomatoes lately?? The brainwashing has just gone way to far, I mean way to far.

McDonald's clearly has taken it personally and had some "interesting responses".Includeing eliminateing the super size, and wageing a counter ad campaign. My favorite however, is the "chewy burger". The chewy burger they have to be kidding. Something hasn't sunk in yet.....
Your Chewy Burger


Anyway, go see the movie, and read Surlocks blog if you get as crazed as I have
Spurlocks blog

NYT sees no problem

I wonder how that 900 pound guy is doing........
  • 900 pound man


  • Chicks dig Moe

    Brando

     Posted by Hello
    ">

    Thursday, June 17, 2004

    Chicks Dig Moe


    Come on Moxie we know what's going on here, she is looking for that "perfectly chiseled oil rig ". Why be so shy and coy?

    I took it on myself to help her out and checked out, Celebrity Cocks List. Hollywoods true "A List" ;all plus 8".....It didn't take must time ,the choice was easy....Moe is her man. Thats right Moe" the horse " Howard, older bother of Shemp and Curly, friend of Larry.

    "Brando , come on man,Moe"

    Listen to me out.......

  • Moxie
  • says
    ......"Likewise ,I will bear no boy-children who hug trees (and hump men) while being physically indistinguishable from their pinko feminist sisters."

    Moe is no damn boy toy, he hangs with real guys, and any girl who looks like Moe; God would just not be that cruel.

    So lets focus on the visual. Moe with that funky hairdo and that mug, naked, hanging down damn near his knees, and ready for some rough stuff. .. (Obviously that's his thing )......What could be hotter for MS Moxie.

    I am telling it like it is, Chicks dig Moe !!
    More Moe :)


    Brando
     Posted by Hello


    Breeding Lunacy


    Mouthwash...?

    For those of you are not familiar with the aptly name Joe Don Looney ( no kidding), he was an All American football player at Oklahoma in the 60's. Joe Don attributed his remarkable athletic prowess in part to his regular drinking of his own urine. Joe later retired to an isolated Pacific Island with a few hand picked woman to breed......Literally putting himself out to stud.

    And why do I share this ......

  • Moxie :)

  • has a funny item . Unfortunately Jon Don is no longer with us

    ".....More important than finding a man with huge bulging (oil wells) muscles and a perfectly chiseled oil rig (visage) -- is scoring a breeding partner....... "
    (read it all it's funny)

    Also see her husbands blog , an absolutely great read.....li>Tony Pierce


    Brando
     Posted by Hello

    Wednesday, June 16, 2004

    Say No to the NBA,.. Go Local




    My sense is this mess of a NBA finals, is a fine metaphor for a mess of a league.

    FOXSports.com :

    "What went wrong?

    A look at how the heavy favorites got so humiliated.

    It's time to rewrite those "greatest sports upsets" lists after the Pistons pulled off the unthinkable and finished off the Lakers. But how did such a heavily favored team with four future Hall of Famers and an unbeatable coach get so spanked?"


    Consider the following, then maybe read the article.....

    Shaquille O'Neal said he was expecting "a funny summer." "Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me," Interesting remark for a man paid millions to play a team sport.

    The league gives relatively uneducated teenagers multimillion dollar contracts, and flies them around the country with arena's and hotels full of woman wanting to be "near " the athletes. Certainly an interesting way to build character.

    This years first round draft will likely have only four college seniors. So more of the same. Seems the horizon is dark.
    So........

    If you like basketball as I do, get behind your local high school or college team. Save your money, take your kids.....

    Brando
     Posted by Hello


    The Sacrificial Child...cont


    Well, Britney's summer tour has been canceled. I must admit to be a closet Brittany groupie, although I can't name any of her songs..:) go figure. She has apparently hurt herself and "has to stay off her feet." Maybe some down time to work on her early twenties promiscuity makes sense.

    And...Life as a chick magnet:

    I had an interesting response to my outrage over the abuse of the young girl drawn into this pledge of allegiance mess.( Yesterday mornings post.) I resent the post into the comment section at Calico cat
    Remarkably........

    By Michael Kantor :
    "These types of cases require the legal fiction that the plaintiff have a direct interest in the case. So a parent is the only one who would have standing to bring such a case.

    There is no evidence that Newdow is a bad parent or he's neglecting his daughter.

    Just because you have a child doesn't mean your not allowed to believe in any causes or pursue activities other than raising her.

    There's nothing I know about Newdow that causes me not to respect him. He has a principle that he's fighting for, that should be admired."

    What I find most interesting is Calico cat
    promotes several dating services and Mr. Kantor actually has his own on line dating service site himself full of recommendations. Must be great reading. I can't wait for his parenting site in years to come.....

    Brando
     Posted by Hello

    Tuesday, June 15, 2004

    Scream for All of US



    Dear Joan...,

    About a year ago, one of my former male friends forced himself on me. He was not "satisfied" with the attention I was giving him so he took it. They cut him a deal, 2nd Degree assault/6 months time & 1yr probation. Because it never went to trial nobody knows the real story. People are beginning to question the "incedent", and what happened between us to send him to jail. Should I just say nothing,or should I put my story, the truth, out there and stand by it? I'm pretty involved in a lot of community activities so, many people know me

    What should I, or what would you do?

    ----------
    I say put it out there. Scream it from the tops of your lungs. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He even admitted to it in order to get the plea bargain, so it's not like he can deny it now. He can try, but no one would believe him.

    Get your story out there. I do whenever I can. I was raped and I know that sharing my story with other people has helped them. And after the fact, after the actual rape occurs, there is little else we can do to fight back. But putting your story and your face out there and admitting to the world what happened to you, WILL help SOMEONE. It might not be anyone you know, but it will help someone. I say do it...do it as often and as loudly and proudly as you can.

    Love Joan
     Posted by Hello


    Still Tri 'en



    Currently I am slowly working myself back into some reasonable physical condition. I am recovering from a lung injury and it is going very slowly. Summer is the triathelon and adventure racing season and I had hoped to run a few races this summer. Sadly that wil not be happening and I I will miss the energy of race days. I am certainly no star, more like one of those who wants to merely finish with dignity.

    There are hundreds of triathlon sites on the Internet. Slowtwitch.com
    is clearly my favorite; informative on virtually every aspect of the sport. I particularly enjoy the writing of Alison Colavecchia at Beginners Luck.Her mission was to run an Ironman by her 40th birthday and has chronicled her four year journey. I have enclosed one of her pieces.

    Quiet By Alison Colavecchia 8.6.01 (www.slowtwitch.com)

    "In the quiet, I can hear my effort. As I swim, I can hear the sound of my lungs forcing air out before taking new air in. I hear the water rushing against my cap with each turn of my head. I can hear the sound of my breath as I drive my legs uphill, hard,shallow, steady. I hear the whirring of the wind as it tugs at my wheel and helmet. I notice the rhythmic fall of my feet on the ground beneath me. My heart pounds. I can almost hear it. These are the sounds I can hear in the quiet. They remind me that I am alive, vital and strong. These are the sounds of my effort. I welcome them. They are respite from the noise of everyday life,from the demands of everyday living.

    With the effort spent, the workout over, I reluctantly return to the world of noise, a world of voice mail, e-mail, snail mail, telephone calls, requests, complaints and commotion. I am again swallowed up in tasks outside of me, unaware of my breath, unaware of effort. The momentum of the noise around me takes me further and further away from the cocoon of hard physical effort. The stillness within is gone, the sense of oneness with my body vanishing,until the next swim, until the next ride, until the next run,until the quiet again welcomes me.
    Still Tri'n "
    Brando

     Posted by Hello


    The Sacrificial Child




    WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court preserved the phrase "one nation, under God," in the Pledge of Allegiance, ruling Monday that a California atheist could not challenge the patriotic oath but sidestepping the broader question of separation of church and state.


    I find this whole story a remarkable outrage. I am glad the Supreme Court found some way to toss this mess out. The real story here is THEIR IS A LITTLE GIRL INVOLVED HERE !!!!! Where the were the all adults along the way here? Consumed in some sort of self serving ideological fog?

    The father's time would be way better spent with his daughter doing things dads and daughters do. I suspect this never really entered his head. In my world, loving is the willingness to put others first. This guy made his daughter a sacrificial lamb! Where were the other adults? This reminds me of the stories where people are mugged and raped while a series of on lookers watched passively. Remarkably, it got all the way to the Supreme Court before an adult stepped in on this girls behalf.

    Shame on all of them. Shame on all of us!

    As to the issue regarding the wording of the pledge. It seems to me this could be resolved by reasonable adults on their own if they truly cared that much.

    Taking a deep breath..........

    Brando

     Posted by Hello

    Monday, June 14, 2004

    It's My Bladder


    Lets lighten it up a bit today. I am sure all sorts of shit will hit the fan by weeks end, but who needs to go there now.

    The Cub Reporter ..... My craziness, along with about half the people in Chicago. If you are in town definitely go. Don't worry about tickets even though all the games are sold out scalpers abound. Try the bartenders at " Bernies. " ( Sheffield and Clark ), they will line you up ,while you have a pre game beer and a dog.
    (all-baseball .com/cubreporter)


    Mudville Gazette. ...... Great piece that speaks for itself.

    DeadBrain - Fox News Channel Suffers Psychotic Break...I like these guys but they even drowned me.

    Bob From Accounting
    : "Life as a Trainwreck" ......A couple "family " articules for those who are just glad to be back at the office.

    The World. - Training for sex workers in relating to people with disabilities....... God I do love good works.Maybe they can get an audience with/for the Pope.:)

    tight.se

    ....Some harmless gratuitous eye candy

    A Day W ithout A Mexican - La Movie ...And Bill O'Rielly thinks we have an immigration problem now....?

    AND


    Men standing up for themselves...........

    "Men, for instance, when urinating in the standing position, should, except while drunk - when operating dual systems of balance and aim is obviously trickier - stand on tiptoes to urinate. This stimulates the energy of the bladder meridian, which runs through the vital organs and down the back of each leg, and is said not only to increase kidney energy production and thus stimulate libido levels but also to help prevent or manage prostate cancer."
    (guardian.co .uk )

    The Observer | Magazine | Barefoot Doctor: Go with the flow

    Recently (06/09/04, at 10:07 AM) Seven Inches did a short contraian post citing "Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up" (MAPSU.ORG)

    I suggest you read the whole Observer article not only because it is a good read, but it seems one might need to be informed so to defend OUR OWN FUCKING INALIENABLE RIGHT...:)

    Brando
     Posted by Hello

    Sunday, June 13, 2004

    Time to Blog


    ".......In a way, blogs represent everything the Web was always supposed to be: a mass medium controlled by the masses, in which getting heard depends solely on having something to say and the moxie to say it."

    It is a rather condescending piece in places, but they will have a lot of readership and some solid information. I have cut it down to sift out an inordinate amount of fluff> I wouldn't bother with the whole thing unless you feel enriched by comments like."a quirky Camelot moment in Internet history" . Puke



    Time Magazine
    Sunday, Jun. 13, 2004
    Meet Joe Blog

    Why are more and more people getting their news from amateur websites called blogs? Because they're fast, funny and totally biased
    By LEV GROSSMAN; ANITA HAMILTON

    ......Over the past five years, blogs have gone from an obscure to a genuine alternative to mainstream news outlets, a shadow media empire that is rivaling networks and newspapers in power and influence. Which raises the question: Who are these folks anyway? And what exactly are they doing to the established pantheon of American media?....

    .......Unlike a big media outlet, bloggers focus their efforts on narrow topics, often rising to become de facto watchdogs and self-proclaimed experts. Blogs can be about anything: politics, sex, baseball, haiku, car repair. There are blogs about blogs......

    ......What makes blogs so effective? They're free. They catch people at work, at their desks, when they're alert and thinking and making decisions. Blogs are fresh and often seem to be miles ahead of the mainstream news. Bloggers put up new stuff every day, all day, and there are thousands of them...... They're human. They come to us .... from an individual. They represent no, they are ? the voice of the little guy.

    ......Blogs showcase some of the smartest, sharpest writing being published. Bloggers are unconstrained by such journalistic conventions as good taste, accountability and objectivity ? and that can be a good thing. Accusations of media bias are thick on the ground these days, and Americans are tired of it. Blogs don't pretend to be neutral: they're gleefully, unabashedly biased, and that makes them a lot more fun. "Because we're not trying to sell magazines or papers, we can afford to assail our readers," says Andrew Sullivan, a contributor to TIME and the editor of andrewsullivan.come "I don't have the pressure of an advertising executive telling me to lay off. It's incredibly liberating."

    ........Some bloggers earn their bias the hard way ? in the trenches. Military bloggers, or milbloggers in Net patois, post vivid accounts of their tours of Baghdad, in prose covered in fresh flop sweat and powder burns, illustrated with digital photos

    ........But blogs are about much more than war and politics. ....Six years ago, a philosophy professor in New Zealand named Denis Dutton started the blog Arts & Letters Daily artsandlettersdaily.com to create a website "where people could go daily for a dose of intellectual stimulation." Now the site draws more than 100,000 readers a month.


     Posted by Hello

    Saturday, June 12, 2004

    The Courage to Step Aside


    I think the art of when to get out can be an elusive one. I think the focus of this week's news, Ronald Reagan, certainly understood it. Johnney Carson knew when to go , as did several notable sports stars including Barry Sanders , Walter Payton , Larry Bird .

    If I have ever seen a case for this to be considered, it is Rush Limbaugh . I am no big fan, or neither does he outrage me. Basically I see a guy who has had one hell of a run."In 1996 the couple moved into a mansion in West Palm Beach, Fla., estimated to be worth $30 million." So apparently money shouldn't be to big an issue for him.

    Essentially Rush encourages people how to think, act and live. Not an unreasonable thing, we all do it to some extent. Fortunately for him, he has quite a soap box and apparently made quite a fortune. However it is clear his personal life is plainly just not working. He is ending his third marriage, he has a sea of legal problems and the idea he has cleaned up his addition problems with one twenty-eight day program is just blantly absurd.

    I suggest he rent the DVD " Tombstone
    ". Although he may see himself more as a later day Wyatt Eyrup .I suggest he pay close attention to Val Kilmer's Doc Holiday, clearly a man with an awareness of his self destruction. Specifically two of his lines seem pertinent here. Doc... "I have not yet begun to defile myself." and more clearly ;"IT APPEARS MY HIPPROICSY KNOWS NO BOUNDS".

    Two things are clear: One listens much better when their mouth is closed. Secondly, this is one hell of a wake up call, life is screaming at him.

    Micleal Jordon
    "retired " and rode a hot bus around to minor league ballparks with a bunch of young men, then returned to win three championships. People do recover, but not with bandages........Time, humility, introspection, real shifts in patterns, vulnerability, those are some of the keys.

    I have compassion for him .This would take some real courage to step aside. Let's see what the guy's got.!!


    Rush Limbaugh and wife split up http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/?sid=1fc96ed806dff3f3>

     Posted by Hello

    The Cast

    BRANDO & JOAN

    Marlon Brando * Joan Crawford

    CONTACT JOAN

    Creative Commons License
    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

    In Our Hearts

    Find Burke's Killer!

    "The Courage to Act...By Rod Napier "Dedicated to Burke O'Brien, A Hero Forever" ... please visit
    BURKE O'BRIEN .ORG
    BURKE TELEVISION

    Mark O'Brien- Loving Father, Compassionate Friend, and Ceaseless Seeker of Justice

    "I hope to not just laugh, but to laugh uncontrollably. I hope to not just cry, but to wail deeply. I hope to not just find the elusive "alone together" place within, but to hold, and be held in it. I hope my refection on the lake dissipates and I can see into the waters."
    ~~Mark O'Brien





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    (*by Joan, about Brando's death)

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